This Is a Thing: Amanda Byne’s Totally Bonkers Drake Tweet March 22, 2013

Ummm…should we be worried for Amanda Bynes? More importantly, should we be worried for her vagina? I don’t know. Sure, this is by no means the most immaculate f*ck tweet ever tweeted, but then again…

The Theme of the Week’s Been “Eating Things,” So Here’s an Ad for Vagine Cuisine April 5, 2012

Laaadieees, have you ever wished your muff tasted like an oral…Mex buffet? Of course you haven’t, BUT LET’S PRETEND:

Especially spicy fajita, girlfriend. And thanks to Vagine Cuisine, now your Down South can taste truly South of the Border! OLÉ!

In Honor of MDNA’s Release, Here’s a Really Great Music Video for Madonna’s “Girl Gone Wild” March 28, 2012

At this point, it’s almost not even worth mentioning that Madonna’s MDNA came out earlier this week. After all, if you’re reading this, chances are either you or at least one of your friends is a friend of Dorothy, which means either you or at least one of your friends has spent the past few days sashaying up and down your Facebook News Feed with quips and comments about the new Madonna album. Simply put: WE KNOW ALREADY, QUEEN. Hell, I’d offer my own two cents, but Madonna has so much money she probably scoffs at small change like a bouquet of hydrangeas. Besides, the last album I shared my thoughts on was Christina Aguilera’s Bionic, and we all know how well that turned out.

ANYWAYS, this wouldn’t the blog it is without some sort of MDNA-related post (duh), so here’s a music video for Madonna’s latest single, “Girl Gone Wild.” It may not be the official video, but it probably should be:

Mark Block’s Ad for Herman Cain: “Now is the time for action!” October 25, 2011

Is it way Mark Block uses his words (robot awkward), the “Was it as good for you?” drag he takes from his cigarette, the au-currant-power-pop-meets-jingoism theme song, or the Herman Cain nightmare smile that only a mother an America hungry for action could love? I don’t know, y’all, but whatever it is, this Herman Cain ad is some kind of (batshit) wonderful.

And you know, if politics really is theater, then this is on par with a production of Cats as directed by Corky St. Clair.

Much love to Jenkins for this one.

Here’s Some Really Great Dancing at an Outdoor Rave for Your Friday October 21, 2011

You might think Black Tank Top’s having all the fun (check out her cool dance moves! Arms! Head bops! ARMS! COOL MOVES, GIRLFRIEND!!!), but you’d be wrong! It’s actually Red Polo that’s winning this outdoor rave. Seriously. He’s killing it like a zombie. Here, just take a look, and you’ll see what I’m talking about:

This Woman at KFC Isn’t Being Rude. She Just Wants More Butter! October 10, 2011

After the jump, we have a video of a the long lost third member of The Good Girls, who’s apparently preemptively traded in the glamorous life of global superstardom for an even more glamorous life as a British bag lady. NO! It’s woman throwing a sh*tfit at a KFC in Brighton. The crime? They won’t give her any more butter! Sacré beurre! (See what I did there?) Anyways, the language is salty, so if you happen to be at work, you probably shouldn’t be on this site pinkies out and headphones up, y’all:

Nuns Doing Karate! I Repeat: We’ve Got Nuns Doing Karate! October 3, 2011

Here is a video of some nuns doing Karate and Aikido, which is obviously a great way to start the week (no duh!), but seeing as it’s a video of nuns doing Karate and Aikido, it raises all sorts of questions. For example: Is this real? Also: If this isn’t real, can we please pretend it’s real? Furthermore: Wait, did that nun just put that dude in a choke hold with her Rosary and then punch him in the balls?!? And most importantly: Is this better than when Joan Crawford did her Judo chops? Haha, that last one’s a trick question! IT’S NOT.

Much love to Buzzfeed for this one.

Allow Me to Introduce Riff Raff, Your New Favorite Riff Raff July 28, 2011

Buzzfeed hopes he’s a troll, but as Videogum points out, Riff Raff previously appeared on that MTV show From G’s to Gents, so Riff Raff is either like the Lady Gaga of white rappers (possibly?) or completely out of his damn mind (probably). Whatever. From those fancy pants (gay pirates are in this season?) to those glasses (I can’t) to name checking Tony Chachere (pork chops!), everything about this video is 100% magic. F*ck it. Make that 110%. My point is that this Riff Raff is obviously our new favorite Riff Raff, and since I hate confrontation, I think I’ll let Heidi Klum take it from here:

Five Reasons I’m the Most Excited for the New Season of Big Brother July 6, 2011

Heads up, y’all. Big Brother 13 premieres tomorrow night, which means it’s entirely this blog could possibly devolve into incoherent, stream-of-conscious medley of Showgirls references and excessively homosexual chatter (which it already is), but now also peppered with all sorts of random asides to Rachel’s weave and hoping for the return of Zingbot. In short, this blog will make like a Talking Heads concert film and stop making sense, so consider yourself warned.

Anyways, if you’re uninitiated in Big Brother and would like a little insight into the impending insanity (or you’re my mother and will just want some vagues sense as to what the f*ck I’m babbling on about over the phone for the next few months), here are five reasons why I’m the most excited for the new season of Big Brother.

Another Treasure from Al Paradise: Elisa Scarrone’s “The Jungle Law” July 5, 2011

You might be wondering what in the what is going on in the above amuse-bouche for your eyeballs. Don’t worry. Tending to this little corner of the interwebs means I get that a lot. Anyways, if I told you it was part of an opening number to the 80s Italian variety television show (and home to the inimitably batshit crazy, transcendentally dazzling dance stylings of Sara Carlson) Al Paradiso, would that be enough to entice you to entice you to watch what magic lies ahead after the jump? Or that Elisa Scarrone’s “The Jungle Law” is the most flamboyantly gay/European circus-themed event this side of a White Party inspired by a Siegfried & Roy show as interpreted by a K-hole? If that’s not enough to get your bouche amused, y’all, I don’t know what is, so let’s all sit down and watch Elisa Scarrone perform “The Jungle Law.”