ALERT THE AMPHIBIOUS SQUADRON QUEENS! At last, an iteration of this wildly exhausted “Shit Somebody or Another Says” meme for the rest of us, aka, those who can appreciate a rather uncanny Liza Minnelli impersonation, aka, not this one! Why, it’s so good  it gave me the dizzies! Now who wants some Moo Shu?

Much love to Best Week Ever by way of Vulture for this one.

I recognize that a viral video of one reporter’s particularly remarkable response to going down a slide in the basement of the Taipei Grand Hotel doesn’t exactly scream “a little corner of the internet where camp is queen,” but it does literally scream. I mean, what exactly do I do with this video? Throw a wig and a thick appliqué of makeup on it? I don’t think so. Alas, not everything can be Showgirls references and Joan Crawford drag queens, though I certainly wouldn’t be one to complain were that otherwise.

Instead, I’d simply like to present this video as a small, perfect moment of interweb joy, one so pure that I really wouldn’t mind if it continued on in an infinite loop of this woman’s screams. Seriously. WAAHwooWEEeeAHWAHWAH’ing back and forth. Forever.

Much love to Videogum for this one.

Whatever the situation behind this is, it only reaffirms that Tina Fey is the best. Taking a moment to pose with the rest of us? (Aka, those not responsible for writing Mean Girls and 30 Rock.) Clearly, the best.

(And seriously, I’ve been reading Bossypants, and she really is the absolute best. I’m welcome to a debate in the comments. But I might shut you down. Moving on.)

Still, I’ve questions. Well, one question, which is: Is that Moonvest?

In case you’re confused by my quandary, I’ve rewatched this video several times, and I think this guy might be Moonvest, but there’s been so much talk about beards in entertainment news these past few days (Taylor Swift to star in the film production of Les Miserables!) that I might be getting confused. Too much beard talk and they all start to look the same.

Still, I hope, nay, pray it might be Moonvest, my second* most favorite random 30 Rock joke, ever. Irregardless: GIMME YOUR FINGERNAILS!

Oh, and a great hurrah for 30 Rock‘s return!

Much love to Buzzfeed for this.

*”WHITE DIAMONDS!!!” will forever remain my first love. EVER!

Well, everything about this is the best. Obviously.

For starters, this correction is positively adorable. If it hasn’t already, somebody should option this, because I’d pay to see the unabashedly twee indie rom com inspired by this correction, even though the high concept pitch reads like a waking nightmare (“It’s A Beautiful Mind meets Garden State meets an 80s cartoon acid flashback!”). Michel Gondry can direct a script by Diablo Cody, and it’ll star Ellen Page, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, and this guy (link NSFW) as the pony. It would be insaaane.

More importantly, though, it’s really quite marvelous that the Gray Lady, bastion of fine and upstanding reporting that she is, had to print a correction about which magical pony from an animated children’s program is this girl’s emotional spirit animal. I really like imagining some editor at the Times smugly stand atop a mountain of newspapers like Orson Wells, swirling a brandy snifter while thinking nobody would catch their little Pony faux pas, which is clearly part of the liberal agenda. BUT NO! This is the interwebs, dear sirs, and people on the interwebs don’t play when it comes to My Little Pony. This showtunes medley knows what I’m talking about.

Much love to Best Week Ever for this one.

It was one of those days when it’s a minute away from snowing and there’s this electricity in the air, you can almost hear it. Right? And this bag was just dancing with me. Like a little kid begging me to play with it. For a hot second fifteen minutes. That’s the day I realized that there was this entire life behind things, and this incredibly benevolent force that wanted me to know there was no reason to be afraid, ever. Video’s a poor excuse, I know. But it helps me remember… I need to remember… Sometimes there’s so much beauty in the world, I feel like I can’t take it, and my heart is just going to cave in.

–Ricky Fitts, American Beauty.

And also me, right now.

Much love to Rats Off! by way of Videogum for this one.

It’s straight up magical, naturally. B.’s excited (maybe?). This girl’s excited (definitely). Are you excited? You should be excited. Get excited, y’all:

Perfect? Perfect. AGAIN!

Now yes, I recognize this video’s been floating for a couple of weeks already, but think the plethora of treasures it nonetheless still offers on its first or thousandth (don’t judge me!) viewing:

• Beyoncé.
• Beautiful singing.
• Crazy eyes burning with the fires of fandom fueled by equal parts uninhibited adoration and lock-your-doors-she’s-on-the-loose! batshit insanity.

Seriously, this video hits too many blog love spots (ew) to not deserve a post, so you know what? AGAIN!

Besides, it’s like I say: Better lateblog than neverblog. (I don’t say that.)

Much love to Videogum for this one.

Is it way Mark Block uses his words (robot awkward), the “Was it as good for you?” drag he takes from his cigarette, the au-currant-power-pop-meets-jingoism theme song, or the Herman Cain nightmare smile that only a mother an America hungry for action could love? I don’t know, y’all, but whatever it is, this Herman Cain ad is some kind of (batshit) wonderful.

And you know, if politics really is theater, then this is on par with a production of Cats as directed by Corky St. Clair.

Much love to Jenkins for this one.

You might think Black Tank Top’s having all the fun (check out her cool dance moves! Arms! Head bops! ARMS! COOL MOVES, GIRLFRIEND!!!), but you’d be wrong! It’s actually Red Polo that’s winning this outdoor rave. Seriously. He’s killing it like a zombie. Here, just take a look, and you’ll see what I’m talking about:

You know, I find it curious that this video is called “LSD Fail,” because I’m pretty sure this guy is doing is everything but failing. Besides, isn’t this basically what every raver dances like? Wouldn’t a better title be something like “Normal Rave Dancing”? Or “When there’s no more room in hell, the dead will rave dance the Earth”? Whatever. Like I said: like a zombie. Sparkle, Zombie, SPARKLE!

Much love to Videogum for this one.

Mere nights ago, international lady of leisure, should’ve-been-Swan-Queen, and perennial tabloid critter Lindsay Lohan stepped out to an event to bring the paparazzi the sort refined elegance only a hobo corpse playing dress-up in a Forever 21 dumpster could offer. Just kidding! As usual, she looked gorgeous, so before you start trying to cast shade upon such pristinely polished beauty, let me remind you what her rep (Dina Lohan with the voice changer from the Scream movies, most likely) had to say to People:

Lindsay is widely acknowledged as one of the most stunning actresses of her day, and we get requests every week wanting to do photo shoots with her from top photographers.

She’s been on the cover of Vanity Fair and the top beauty and fashion magazines. She’s a beautiful and glamorous actress.

With everything going on – from deteriorating public education to rampant homelessness to international unrest – there is no way I’m going to comment on Lindsay’s teeth.

Don’t you get it, internet? She’s an actress! Never mind that her hands look like those of a street walker practicing her craft with sand paper and Sharpie markers; SHE’S READY FOR HER CLOSE-UP, MR. DEMILLE:

What? If there’s a Showgirls prequel about the hard times when Nomi Malone was a crack whore and not a dancer, 1.) I’ll see you there opening night and 2) You can’t hate on LiLo for going Method for a chance at that once-in-a-lifetime roll. Seriously, nothing says “I used to love Doggie Chow, too!” quite like a janked-up grill.

And if that somehow isn’t the case, I’d just blame it on the Quizno’s Chipotle Roast Beef. Girl can’t get enough of that Quizno’s, and once you’ve had one of their signature toasted sandwiches, neither will you! #ad

Much love to Buzzfeed and Dlisted for the picture and close-up/rep statement, respectively, and to Moya for her insistence!

On one hand, I can already taste the janky pizza (Little Caesars, for when even Domino’s is just too high brow) and half-flat soda that were so commonplace to the birthday parties spent at the local roller rink, Sparkles. Oh, how they scattered my youth like shards of light refracted from a mirrorball upon the hardwood floor. Nostalgia: ’tis a carousel OR a roller rink, y’all. Both go in circles! DISCUSS, DON DRAPERS.

But, on the other hand, we will probably never be able to skate that hip (so hip!), so on second thought:

Much love to Videogum for the clip.