Orange-Mocha Frappucinnos (spiked with Bailey’s and Jameson!) Vintage live U2 clips! Here’s them performing “Mysterious Ways” on their Popmart Tour:
The Edge’s guitar solo at the end is pretty much enough to get anyone drunk in my book, but I’m a notorious lightweight. Hopefully you’re not seeing double, because he’s another round:
Benjamin made a promise to review every track off No Line on the Horizon, one a day, leading up to the official release on March 3. Whoopsies! Unfortunately, he can’t write about music for a damn as he studied film; it’s all “chiming Edge guitar” this and “propulsive rhythm by Larry and Adam” that, blah blah BLECH. Instead, he’s embraced the new-found experimentation that U2 has clearly found: why review when you can haiku? So put on your crazy boots, ‘cos here comes the next round:
Aaaaaaaand we’re finally here. At the end. Turns out that my sore sinuses from the other day ended up being the first tremors of a bona-fide sickquake. Thankfully a little homemade chicken soup and a healthy dose bed-rest have got me back on my blogging feet (minus a scratchy throat, but thankfully I blog with my fingers, so no harm and no foul, I figure), but I digress. We’re here to talk haiku reviews, not my old-maid tricks to getting over a winter-weather cold. So FOCUS, people! We’ve finally made it to the finish line of gonzo endeavor. So dust off your mourning veils and get the kindling for your funeral pyres; this is the end of a (week-and-a-half-long) era:
I suppose, as much as this is an end, we can always put the album on repeat (something I’ve already been plenty guilty of and shall continue to just get guiltier), so there’s no need for tears (well, except for the fact that you’ve just listen to “Cedars of Lebanon,” which is a one-way ticket to frowns-ville, population you and me).
So there you have it. Every song off No Line on the Horizon reviewed in haiku. I’m sure this experience was deeply illuminating and informative in a 5-syllable/7-syllable/5-syllable sort of way. Or perhaps they’ve inspired you to put me on blog-block. For eternity.
Either way, you’re welcome.
Benjamin made a promise to review every track off No Line on the Horizon, one a day, leading up to the official release on March 3. Whoopsies! Unfortunately, he can’t write about music for a damn as he studied film; it’s all “chiming Edge guitar” this and “propulsive rhythm by Larry and Adam” that, blah blah BLECH. Instead, he’s embraced the new-found experimentation that U2 has clearly found: why review when you can haiku? So put on your crazy boots, ‘cos here comes the next round:
Let’s file this under bitter irony: my sinuses decide to turn on me the day “Breathe” comes up in this little endeavor. Woof. Admittedly, I’m not a cloggy mess, but my sinuses are all dried out and burny. It’s better than being a mucous machine (too much information? nonsense, we’re close at this point, so deal!), but still, it hurts to…wait for it…breathe. Harharhar!
Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, it’s time for me to find my neti pot. I’m glad I got to share with you my sinus status and another haiku, my dears. Tomorrow, the grand finale: “Cedars of Lebanon”!
As always, you can stream No Line on the Horizon on U2’s Myspace, so you can hear of which I haiku.
Benjamin made a promise to review every track off No Line on the Horizon, one a day, leading up to the official release on March 3. Whoopsies! Unfortunately, he can’t write about music for a damn as he studied film; it’s all “chiming Edge guitar” this and “propulsive rhythm by Larry and Adam” that, blah blah BLECH. Instead, he’s embraced the new-found experimentation that U2 has clearly found: why review when you can haiku? So put on your crazy boots, ‘cos here comes the next round:
Given how joyfully upbeat the bulk of No Line on the Horizon is, “White as Snow” is kinda like an unexpected sadness kick to the face. It’s ethereal and quite lovely, but it’s bound to give you a case of the frowns. Grab your Prozac and take it to your happy place, y’all, ‘cos here we go:
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’d best be off to the set of the video for “Laid” with my bag full of Heath bars. I’ll be back tomorrow with “Breathe.”
As always, you can stream No Line on the Horizon on U2’s Myspace, so you can hear of which I haiku.
Apparently some people I know have me pegged as being particularly excited about this lil’ piece of news:
Hrmmm, I wonder why? Could it be because I’m a nerd, or is it that to say that I like U2 is a gross understatement. Who knows? Whatever the reason, the sentiment was appreciated, but also:
I already knew that! My nerdiness is lightning-quick like that, and if you really think I’m not going to be refreshing the official Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark website multiple times daily in eager anticipation of breaking news and/or ticket sales, then you obviously don’t know me or my obsessive tendencies in the slightest.
That doesn’t mean I’m not skeptical though.
Benjamin made a promise to review every track off No Line on the Horizon, one a day, leading up to the official release on March 3. Whoopsies! Unfortunately, he can’t write about music for a damn as he studied film; it’s all “chiming Edge guitar” this and “propulsive rhythm by Larry and Adam” that, blah blah BLECH. Instead, he’s embraced the new-found experimentation that U2 has clearly found: why review when you can haiku? So put on your crazy boots, ‘cos here comes the next round:
A sad day has come upon us! I’m over halfway done with this little exercise insanity/tedium. Before you know it, the whole album will be reviewed and there won’t be any more haikus (show some respect and try not to look so damn happy!). Shall I stop now (please?) so we never have to face the inevitable? No? Fine! Get your hankies ready because the end is now in sight:
Le sadness. Only five more left. Next up is “Stand Up Comedy.”
As always, you can stream No Line on the Horizon on U2’s Myspace, so you can hear of which I haiku.
Benjamin made a promise to review every track off No Line on the Horizon, one a day, leading up to the official release on March 3. Whoopsies! Unfortunately, he can’t write about music for a damn as he studied film; it’s all “chiming Edge guitar” this and “propulsive rhythm by Larry and Adam” that, blah blah BLECH. Instead, he’s embraced the new-found experimentation that U2 has clearly found: why review when you can haiku? So put on your crazy boots, ‘cos here comes the next round:
I don’t know if it’s the fact that I got more than four hours of sleep last night, or maybe the fact that I got to write about Showgirls earlier today (it’s probably the latter, not the former; thinking about 10 seconds of Showgirls for me is twenty minutes of kitten videos on Youtube for grandmas: it’s a happy place), but I’m in a much better mood than yesterday. It seems as though the gay-man-equivalent of catnip (aka, Showgirls) has rendered Cranky McCrankerson docile and content. Thaaank goodness.
So, yeah, let’s drop this new haiku like Nomi dropped her crack addiction:
Almost halfway done! Hot toddy! Next up is “Get On Your Boots.”
As always, you can stream No Line on the Horizon on U2’s Myspace, so you can hear of which I haiku.
Benjamin made a promise to review every track off No Line on the Horizon, one a day, leading up to the official release on March 3. Whoopsies! Unfortunately, he can’t write about music for a damn as he studied film; it’s all “chiming Edge guitar” this and “propulsive rhythm by Larry and Adam” that, blah blah BLECH. Instead, he’s embraced the new-found experimentation that U2 has clearly found: why review when you can haiku? So put on your crazy boots, ‘cos here comes the next round:
I don’t know if it’s the lack of sleep (because Oscar parties in Washington Heights when you have to still travel back home to Brooklyn will do that to you) or what, but these damn haikus are wearing me out. Curses to my blog promise! Ugh. Let’s get this done with:
Whatever. I’m clearly Blogster the Grouch right now. Let’s all go to bed. G’night.
Tomorrow is “I’ll Go Crazy if I Don’t Go Crazy Tonight.”
As always, you can stream No Line on the Horizon on U2’s Myspace, so you can hear of which I haiku.
Benjamin made a promise to review every track off No Line on the Horizon, one a day, leading up to the official release on March 3. Whoopsies! Unfortunately, he can’t write about music for a damn as he studied film; it’s all “chiming Edge guitar” this and “propulsive rhythm by Larry and Adam” that, blah blah BLECH. Instead, he’s embraced the new-found experimentation that U2 has clearly found: why review when you can haiku? So put on your crazy boots, ‘cos here comes the next round:
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I’m still playing catch-up with this foolish project. So sue me. The Oscars were yesterday, which meant I had to spend my day making banana nut muffins and doing oodles of laundry. Seriously, my room was mere days away from warranting hazmat suits for guests. Don’t believe me? This is my room:
Well, minus Swamp Thing and Heather Locklear. My room simply isn’t lucky enough to house the cast of the 80s-camp goodness that is The Return of Swamp Thing. Then again, is any room that lucky? No, I think not.
But I digress.
Here’s the next installment of our haiku review. If it were 2008, I’d make some timely joke about drinking it up like a milkshake, because Daniel Day Lewis was winning at the Oscars for There Will Be Blood. Alas, better (a year) late than never. So drink it up! Drink up the haiku-shake:
Benjamin made a promise to review every track off No Line on the Horizon, one a day, leading up to the official release on March 3. Whoopsies! Unfortunately, he can’t write about music for a damn as he studied film; it’s all “chiming Edge guitar” this and “propulsive rhythm by Larry and Adam” that, blah blah BLECH. Instead, he’s embraced the new-found experimentation that U2 has clearly found: why review when you can haiku? So put on your crazy boots, ‘cos here comes the next round:
“Two reviews in one day? Isn’t this supposed to be daily?” you ask.
“Tacky, insolent reader,” I reply, “I was too busy writing about blue genitals on Friday. Recognize the priorities! Today is catch-up day, and tomorrow we’ll return to our regularly scheduled program.”
“Fair is fair,” you respond. As you should.
The new haiku review drops NOW:
Whew! Another down. I think I may be getting the hang of this. Haikus are fun (and by fun, I should say that they’re a lazy man’s review)! Only nine more left! We can do this! Hold onto your haiku hats, ‘cos tomorrow gets another!
Oh, and as always, you can stream No Line on the Horizon on U2′s Myspace, so you can hear of which I haiku.
