UGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH April 17, 2012

No, Siri-ously, UGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Much love to Videogum for this one.

The Free Flexor For Men Is For Guys Who Like to “Exercise” September 29, 2011

“Once you start to get that momentum swinging, it starts to go deep.” –Another satisfied power bottom guy who likes to masturbate exercise. Much love to Videogum for this one.  

The Nina Sayers of Quizno’s Ads March 28, 2011

They’ve used nightmare hamsters of the interwebs: D*ck-starved oven monsters: And, most recently, a Bette-Davis-drag-queen-lookalike who is actually just some lady channeling Bette circa Jezebel and wearing clown makeup circa Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?: All of them have danced the dance, for sure, but who shall be Quizno’s Marketing’s Swan Queen? Ah, yes:

Great Performances in Faye Dunaway’s Career: Faye Dunaway Eats a Hard Boiled Egg June 21, 2010

Based on my highly sophisticated Interweb Deductive Reasoning Skillz (aka, IDRS; aka, Google search), I’ve come to the conclusion that the Parco referred to in this video is the same Parco that’s a department store in Japan; however, what Faye Dunaway peeling and eating a hard boiled egg has to do with shopping at said [...]

Hardee’s is Lowering America’s Standards in Acceptable Breakfast Items/Clever Innuendoes June 30, 2009

Two birds, one stone.  Quite impressive, really.  Then again, Hardee’s is nothing if one thing: Do you not believe me?  Then just take a gander at their new ad for something they thus far call “biscuit holes”: CLASSY!  I sincerely hope that these people were actually paid actors (or at least let in on this [...]

Orphan‘s Marketing Campaign Ages Like Fine Cheese June 15, 2009

Some months back, I randomly stumbled upon the totally ridiculous looking trailer for Orphan,and I immediately began to wonder what the hell her secret is.  Of course, I’m equally curious as to why Vera Farmiga keeps getting saddled with Bad Seed rip-offs, and I’d love to know why Peter Sarsgaard said yes to this mess, but [...]

You Do Not Come Between Gerta and the Pink Lingerie April 22, 2009

I mostly know of Germany through Tom Tykwer’s movies and going to an Oktoberfest years ago in Georgia, so I’ve clearly got much to learn about the Germans and their culture.  Fortunately, this ad has given me a little more insight about the land of bratwurst Rainer Werner Fassbinder, which is that apparently German women [...]

Gay Marriage with a Side of Pancakes April 7, 2009

Hey, y’all, it’s official: Vermont’s the greatest state.  Ever.  Why?  They’ve gotten rid of those silly civil unions in favor of letting the gays actually get married!  Added to that, let’s not forget that this state is also famous for its maple syrup.  I think we all know what that means: Homo Marriage Pancake Party! [...]

Here’s a French Pop Song Devoted to Shaving Your Lady Bits April 6, 2009

I’m really serious.  This is a real artist with a real song and a real video that’s playing in France to help sell razors specifically marketed to shave your va-jay-jay.  Thank goodness my grasp of the French language has almost completely deteriorated since graduating college; otherwise, I suspect my ear’s might start bleeding from this [...]

There’s No Reason for the Butterfinger Buzz to Exist April 4, 2009

Did you know that the Butterfinger Buzz claims to be a regular Butterfing with an energy drink’s worth of caffeine in it.  They advertise it as a candy bar, and I suppose it is one in so much as that it’s a sugar-based product that is shaped like a bar and is covered with chocolate [...]