Oh lordy, y’all. So Jersey Shore‘s second season premiered last night, and much like the above image from Videogum of Snooki and Sammi Sweetheart listening intently to their conchs, it was a strange thing of booze-fueled, sh*t-talking, train-wreck-of-zen beauty, and how could it be anything but? Let’s discuss a few of my favorite moments, shall we?
Angelina’s returned prompted The Situation to deliver serious FACE:
Truer feelings of utter disbelief, total confusion, and SENSE OF IMPENDING RIDICUDRAMA have never been FACE’d. Well played, The Situation. Very well played, indeed.
And let’s not forget when Snooki gave a brief dissertation on revisionist history:
I’m sorry, but somebody needs to get this woman an honorary doctorate. Fuck, let’s just give her a university. I don’t care where it is. I want to go to there.
Oh, and when JWOWW nearly unleashed her fists of fury on Angelina?
I consider this a missed opportunity only in that JWOWW didn’t actually unleash her fists of fury, but I’ve admittedly got a thing for catfights. That said, still amazing. Keep those claws and fists of fury out, ladies!
Also, Ronnie had ex drama with Sammi Sweetheart, so he said yelled at her about how much she hurt him, and she understandably went home and cried (which I guess makes her Sammi…Sadheart?*), and he showed us just how much he’s hurting by drunkenly making out with two girls:
Shiiit, y’all, two girls? He must be hurting The Most. I understand him, though. It’s like how when the going gets tough, I double-fist pints of ice cream (Two Flavors, One Spoon). The only difference is that my breath doesn’t have the aftertaste of tequila shots and stale vagina. So same thing, but more Chocolate Chocolate Chip.
ANYWAYS, my point is that I’m so happy the cast of Jersey Shore is back. They’re in Miami, bitches, and you know this mess will be epic!
More importantly, though, what were your favorite moments worthy of deep thoughts?